So we thought we had dodged a bullet back on New Years. Kevin and I have dealt with this several times over the past 14 years, so I don't want to say we are blaase' about it, but we just know my mom too well! Anyways, beginning of March, Amanda was visiting her on a normal visit day, and called concerned about slow speech. Kevin and I saw her that day after work and yes, her speech and demeanor told us that she had had another seizure. Of course, noone witnessed it, and the doctors and countless others say stroke. But I know my mom, I know her body and her ailments...SIEZURE! Anywhooo - she was totally coherent. She knew it rained the day before, knew her name, knew us! Just tired, slurred and slow speech. Brother Weimer and Kevin gave her a beautiful priesthood blessing. We left her at 8:00 PM. I arrived home and about 8:30 I get a frantic call from the home. Enna (phillipino and hard to understand when not hysterical) was screaming something about my mom and a siezure. I HAD NO IDEA WHAT SHE WAS SAYING! I said I was on my way and hung up! When I got there, Mom had definitely had another siezure. And Enna had witnessed it! (Yeah! A witness!) She was crying. I was comforting her and Leney (the other aid) because if you've never seen someone have a seizure, it can be quite scary. I was remaining calm..."It's OK, mom will come out of it. Calm down. It's over. Now she needs to rest!" They were still anxious. I was by mom, rubbing her hair, face, arms, speaking soothingly to her, but she was out of it. To put it so you understand..she looked like she was in a coma. The ladies told me Amanda was on her way. "Why? There's nothing she can do for mom right now. Stay home and rest, come tomorrow. (Amanda's pregnant!) But she was already there. When Amanda came in, she was soooo distraught; crying, puffy eyes. After we were sitting there for a good 15 minutes Amanda says, "I couldn't believe it when they told me mom had stopped breathing." WHAT? Ya, that hysterical phone call I had recieved was them saying that mom had had a huge seizure, and had stopped breathing. Then after like 2 minutes, she took a breath. No wonder everyone was so distraught! That explained everything. And now everyone knew why I wasn't acting like that....because I hadn't known...I had just hung up and rushed down to the home with no explanations! Now I don't believe she stopped breathing...moms breathing is shallow anyways, and after a seizure, it gets even more so! One time, when Courtney was little, she took so long to breathe, we had called the paramedics thinking she had stopped. But there was just a minute or so between breaths for about an hour! SCARY! OK, so she had just taken her meds, then had a siezure, and now was resting with a very slight temperature, totally unconscience. Her blood pressure was 56/44 - AAHHHhh! There was nothing we could do. We all went home and prayed. I won't say sleep because as you know a roller coaster ride gets your adrenaline up!
Next day, more of the same. The doctor came to see her. Blood pressure was still WAY LOW! Her temp was up a bit to 100. Mom was still unconscience and had stopped swallowing. This is BAD! Real BAD! If you can't swallow, you can't drink; if you don't drink, you die of dehydration. Plus the fact she would not be getting any of her normal meds beacuse she can't swallow them. The only way to hydrate her would be by I.V. They can't do I.V. in an assisted living home..you have to go to a hospital or nursing home. Mom had expressed her wishes previously not to go to the hospital, AT ALL. Her wish is to die at Veema (the home) with family and friends and comfort. I said no to going to the hospital. So the doctor, the nurse, and the Hospice social worker wanted to meet with me that evening. I knew why. It was time they thought.
OK, so on to that evening. Mom was still BAD. Moaning was all she could do. The only thing to open her eyes was me! She would hear my voice come into the room, and open them. That made me know she was still "in there" so to speak. I told her if she raised her blood pressure to 140/80 I would get her out of bed! She moaned , "OK." FYI: the social worker has known me since I was 16! Anyways, they (Hospice) all met me at the home that evening. The doctor said she wanted to start my mom on a 'comfort pack' which is morphine, anti-nausea, and tylenol. Basically, it comforts you as you are passing. I was concerned with the levels of morphine. I didn't want her to be "doped" to the gills because if she came out of the "coma" we wouldn't know the difference btwn "coma" and drugged! They took me in the other room. Elizabeth (the social worker) was worried about me because she didn't want me to have false hope or be in denial. I kept telling all of them, "Yes. This could very well be the end. BUT - then again, it could not! My mom is amazing. If it's her time, she will go. But if not, then she'll find a way. " I got the "talk" a few times that evening before they left. I told them I was OK if it was the end...but I wasn't going to 'that place' until right before because I had seen this many times before. I called Amanda and told her all of the updates. She had been there earlier, and I didn't want her to have to have 'the talk' until I KNEW for a certainty that it was the end.
The comfort pack was set to begin the next day at lunch. I was going to keep the kids out of school to visit her. That's how bad mom was! I admit, after leaving her that night, I was anxious and concerned for mom. 6:30AM - THE CALL FROM THE HOME! I saw the caller ID and freaked. I answered calmly. It was Enna. She was calm. She simply cried and said, "It's a miracle. Kristen talk to your mom." She put the phone up to mom. "Hi Kristen. I'm thirsty. I want a drink!" WHAT? AAahhhhh! Her speech was slow, but not slurred; very clear. She was very coherent! I called the nurse. I told her and she was calm; her words and manner was skeptical I could tell. She said she would meet me at the home at noon to administer and explain the comfort pack. I said I didn't think that would be necessary anymore. She said OK that's great, I'll see you there. I took the kids as planned. She was sooo happy to see them. She had color back in her face and she was swallowing. When Beth (the nurse) got there, she was beside herself! Noone could beleive their eyes. Her blood pressure was rising and her temperature lowering. I TOLD YOU! My sister was the one who made the comment about the roller coaster. It's true! Up and Down we go! But if there are rules to my mom, they go as follows:
- Never underestimate Nancy.
- Her body DOES NOT react to her illness and/or medications like a normal person. Everything is different about an infection, a cold, and MS!
- NEVER GIVE UP! Seriously, don't start grieving until there is literally hours before passing...you just never know!!!!
MY MOM IS AMAZING! I know she is stuck in this body that doesn't work, and that she has been through alot of heartache and trials over the years, but SHE IS HAPPY! If she wasn't happy, she wouldn't have lasted this long....like 28 1/2 years with MS already!
She is totally up for visitors and was back at church the next Sunday! Only missed 1 Sunday and she is proud of that! Her speech is still slow, and she is just as memory torn as before, but she looks great, feels great, and is an example to all around her! Yeah Mom! You Go Girl! And a huge thank you to all of you for your prayers, fasting, and rosery bead rubbing. Heavenly Father hears and answers all of our prayers! Thank you!
