Not Doing So Well....

So all of these posts have been a little catch up for me. I've been neglecting the Nancy News lately! It's official! We are on the DOWNWARD part of the Roller Coaster. In the past 2 weeks...I have seen a significant decline in mom. I hat eto say this is it...because as you all know, mom has 9 lives and she's only spent 5 of them! As sure as I hit 'publish' on this post, she'll bounce right back...at least that's my luck! If that is the case, I promise to post about it right away...BUT AS FOR TODAY, right now, she's not so good.

Sooo weak! I can't even tell you how weak! I had a hard time waking her today at noon. She would open her eyes then just close them again. Chewing food is not an option and drinking has become difficult. It has resulted in us pouring H2O into a childrens medicine spoon and pouring it down her mouth. Her speech is very hard to understand....I usually can get what she's trying to say...but I'm with her everyday....to the laman, you wouldn't get it! I am reading her a book to pass the time but still be able to spend time with her. She says she is not any pain, and that she is comfortable.

Last week, while in this weakened state, she asked me if I was going to be there? Yes mom, I am always here. She said, "but are you and Kevin and Courtney going to be here?" I said what do you got - a hot date? She replied, "No, in case I decide to die." I told her yes. I said, "You make the appointment with whomever you're supposed to make the appointment with...let me know when it is...and we will be there!" She smiled. That same day, she asked if I had heard from Verona (a close friend)? I said yes I get an email update every once in a while I reminded her. Then she asked about Bro. Weimer (her long time heaven sent Home Teacher). I asked if she wanted me to get in contact with these 2? She said I want them to speak. Then her speech croaked out again. I can only assume she meant at her funeral, since she was speaking of dying all afternoon. I don't want to beg her to stay, because she has endured soooo much, but I don't want to tell her ya go ahead and go right now. Everyday I have some sort of talk with her about how I'm OK, my family is OK, Mandy's OK, Aaron's OK. I ask if she wants to talk about anything. And I mention my Grandma ALOT! They were close, and I feel if mom does pass...Gram will be waiting to escort her away from this life. I want mom to know that if she does feel Gram's presence...it's OK.....it'll all be OK!

My brother is coming for a visit I think on the 4th of September. My sister told her that, and she asked, "That long?" Through it all, whatever she says or doesn't say...we crack jokes! I live to make her laugh/smile! If there is one thing that sticks out as taught by my mother...you always have 2 choices..Laugh or Cry. It's better to laugh!